Thursday, October 19, 2006
Starting of a journey 1
‘You can as well get lost’ - Geeta said, nostrils flaring, eyes glaring, index finger pointing directly at my nose.
Am I hallucinating? I felt like Goddess Kali is in front of me holding a sword to decimate me in pieces. Is it a sword, in her hand or a Trishul or may be some new kind of weapon? Is it Goddess Kali? Cannot be. Kali is supposed to be dark in color. I slowly tried to look up once more. No, this wheat complexioned lady cannot be Kali, may be Durga. But Durga is dasa-bhuja-dharini, ten handed one. But only one hand is visible to me, may be I am so much overwhelmed that I also became like Arjuna; so much concentrated in my action, I can see only one thing at a time. But Kali also should have a mundmala – the garland of human heads. I tried to look up again. No, only one small chain around the swan like neck.
Once looking up how can I miss out the glaring eyes? Big black eyes; are these black or brown? How does that matter? So beautiful to look at? Presently spewing lava as if to convert me to ashes. And is that the third eye in between the eyebrows or a mere bindi? In my present state of mind it looks like the third eye only. Does Durga have a third eye or it is only Shiva?
‘Kali or Durga?’ I tried to shake my head to get it cleared.
‘Why the hell are you shaking your head?’ thunder came almost knocking me out. I tried to recollect any wise advices given by my parents about the best course of action to be taken in this kind of situation. But the mind also followed suit of my lower limbs, looks like it also is frozen. Just controlled in time my impulsive urge of shaking the head again to defreeze it. Not bad! Mind is working; may be only in slow motion. But it does not give any reassurance, mind working slow is like a tape recorder moving in slow speed, you will feel a A.R.Rehman composed music as a K.L.Saigal song. Did anyone asked, what is a K.L.Saigal song? Oh not again? You see I am already in trouble, hence don’t confuse me with interrupting questions.
Anyway where was I? Ya, in front of Kali, no no not Kali, Durga. No this is no good. Whether Kali or Durga, I am behaving like a sacrificial lamb in front of her, tongue tied, eyes roaming here and there except at her eyes, legs feeling like made of stone. No this is no good. I might be lamb only but it is no good trembling like a sacrificial one, don’t mind being executed but let me die at least with dignity.
‘What’s the matter, did you loose all of your senses?’
‘Look young lady, I am here only to give you a message.’
Whose voice is this one? I was bewildered. Sounded like mine only. How come? Is it really mine? Once again my legs started trembling. A sharp pain of fear traveled through my spinal cord. I waited for the thunder and blows. Nothing came out for a few seconds, are they few seconds? For me it looked like millennium.
‘By the way who are you?’
Not bad. I looked up. The face is still red in anger. But there is a trace of softness, like the red sun but not of full noon but of quiet evening.
Before I tell my name let me narrate the story from the beginning.
To make a long story short let me go back to this morning. I was getting ready to go out for college, from where I am supposed to go to Book fair at Maidan. My newly married sister-in-law came hurriedly to my room.
‘Dipu, are you going to kolkata?’
I looked at her suspiciously, to be frank; there is no reason for suspicion. I hardly know her. They have just come back from their honeymoon. Married my elder brother just a fortnight back. Don’t look for any story; it is a simple arranged marriage.
‘Yes?’ I answered and questioned.
‘Can you do me a favor?’
This is murder! How can you expect me to say no to the newly wed sweet thing? I just nodded my head.
‘You see...’ she started hesitatingly.
I kept quiet keeping my eyes on her.
‘You see, your brother is not feeling well....’ . I did not show any concern as I did not see any concern in her eyes either, rather I feel, I saw a little bit of smile in her eyes (may be my illusion).
Hence I kept my waiting face as wooden as possible.
‘He is not going to office today.’ Again pause for both of us.
Am I making it difficult for her? I felt a little pang in my heart. ‘You want me to get a doctor?’
‘No, No, Nothing serious. He has already popped up some pills and will be all right soon.....you see,.... actually,.... I had an appointment with my friend Geeta. I was supposed to meet her at Gariahaat and we are supposed to go for a movie. Can you meet her and tell her that I cannot make it today?’
‘But Gariahaat is in south.....’ my protest got stifled in the middle only looking at her pleading eyes.
‘But I don’t know her. How do I recognize her?’
The million-dollar smile broke out in her face as she sensed the victory.
‘Don’t worry about that. She will be standing in front of Mouchak, the restaurant at Gariahaat market at exactly 2 P.M.
‘How does she look like?’
‘Don’t worry, you cannot miss her. Actually you would have known her if only you would not miss our wedding’ the reproach came out. I missed by brother’s wedding due to some other important engagement for which she has vouched she will never forgive me.
As told, I found the young lady, in scarlet red at the appointed place, at the appointed time.
I am no roadside Romeo. Hence did not hesitate to approach the lady.
“Geeta?’
‘Yes’
‘I have come to give you a message from your friend Romila. She is held up today and excused herself.’
‘What?’
I repeated the message.
‘Are you mad?’
I did not reply but started sensing trouble. I told myself ‘this is not the lady you will like to cross. Save yourself. Make a hasty retreat.’
But when you are young you always do not listen to your inner saner advice.
‘You see.....’ my well-intended clarification only could go this far.
And that’s how it started.
Well. I told her who I am. ‘ Oh. You are the rebel one!’ I did not know what she meant by that exclamation, but felt wise to keep quiet about it.
‘Can we go inside the restaurant and have something cool to drink? I am really thirsty’. I regained some sense of chivalry.
The tired eyes fell on mine, how fast they change?
But I have nothing to complain; rather felt happy to see the conversion from Das-bhuja to normal human being.
‘I never knew she is such a stupid female. How can she do this to me?’ We started our conversation inside the restaurant after a couple of sips of the cool drink.
‘She is not stupid, but the marriage made her stupid’ I commented gravely. I have a serious view that only stupids get married.
She looked up at me.
‘But what do I do now. I told my parents about going for a movie and decked up myself for the occasion. How can I go back now?’
I looked up the beautiful lady draped in a beautiful scarlet red color saree and really felt sorry for her. Poor thing!
“Can you come with me for the movie. It is a good Uttam-Supriya movie..’ she stopped in the middle looking at my face. I am sure she has seen horror on my face.
I thought for a while. Me? The Young Turk, who has vowed to changed the world! Again the shivering started. What will people say if anybody sees me in a theatre watching an Uttam-supriya romantic movie sitting with a beautiful lady romantically? Romance and me? Wasting valuable time? No way.
But how can you say no to this young lady? I started cursing myself. I am getting nervous. All my life, I have studied in all boys’ school, college. Never have interacted with any girl. I even don’t know how to behave with a girl. Definitely it is not an in thing to refuse a girl! I started cursing my bad luck, my sister-in law. How coolly she put me in such an awkward situation.
“You see I understand your problem. But really I cannot go for the movie, as much as I would like to....’ I stopped. Definitely she is not buying my bullshit.
‘You see, I am not making excuses. I have to go to Boimela (Book Fair).’ I tried to look more sincere, which I really was.
Well, sincerity does pay. She believed me. ‘Well then. Let’s go to Boimela. This year I also did not go there.’
I felt jubilant. Not a bad job. It is really another matter. Roaming around the boimela with a female escort is not a very bad thing. It is entirely different than watching a romantic movie.
So that’s how we started. Books are my favorite subject, it is my turf. I never felt want of words in the company of books. We roamed around for hours, discussed about new books, about the crowd, the dust, listened to the poems recited by the budding poets, sat near the waterfront when our feet started aching, ate china badam (fried ground nut) and off course discussed about ourselves also.
It was a start of a long journey. You may be wandering what is the fate of this long journey. Let me keep that for another day.
Am I hallucinating? I felt like Goddess Kali is in front of me holding a sword to decimate me in pieces. Is it a sword, in her hand or a Trishul or may be some new kind of weapon? Is it Goddess Kali? Cannot be. Kali is supposed to be dark in color. I slowly tried to look up once more. No, this wheat complexioned lady cannot be Kali, may be Durga. But Durga is dasa-bhuja-dharini, ten handed one. But only one hand is visible to me, may be I am so much overwhelmed that I also became like Arjuna; so much concentrated in my action, I can see only one thing at a time. But Kali also should have a mundmala – the garland of human heads. I tried to look up again. No, only one small chain around the swan like neck.
Once looking up how can I miss out the glaring eyes? Big black eyes; are these black or brown? How does that matter? So beautiful to look at? Presently spewing lava as if to convert me to ashes. And is that the third eye in between the eyebrows or a mere bindi? In my present state of mind it looks like the third eye only. Does Durga have a third eye or it is only Shiva?
‘Kali or Durga?’ I tried to shake my head to get it cleared.
‘Why the hell are you shaking your head?’ thunder came almost knocking me out. I tried to recollect any wise advices given by my parents about the best course of action to be taken in this kind of situation. But the mind also followed suit of my lower limbs, looks like it also is frozen. Just controlled in time my impulsive urge of shaking the head again to defreeze it. Not bad! Mind is working; may be only in slow motion. But it does not give any reassurance, mind working slow is like a tape recorder moving in slow speed, you will feel a A.R.Rehman composed music as a K.L.Saigal song. Did anyone asked, what is a K.L.Saigal song? Oh not again? You see I am already in trouble, hence don’t confuse me with interrupting questions.
Anyway where was I? Ya, in front of Kali, no no not Kali, Durga. No this is no good. Whether Kali or Durga, I am behaving like a sacrificial lamb in front of her, tongue tied, eyes roaming here and there except at her eyes, legs feeling like made of stone. No this is no good. I might be lamb only but it is no good trembling like a sacrificial one, don’t mind being executed but let me die at least with dignity.
‘What’s the matter, did you loose all of your senses?’
‘Look young lady, I am here only to give you a message.’
Whose voice is this one? I was bewildered. Sounded like mine only. How come? Is it really mine? Once again my legs started trembling. A sharp pain of fear traveled through my spinal cord. I waited for the thunder and blows. Nothing came out for a few seconds, are they few seconds? For me it looked like millennium.
‘By the way who are you?’
Not bad. I looked up. The face is still red in anger. But there is a trace of softness, like the red sun but not of full noon but of quiet evening.
Before I tell my name let me narrate the story from the beginning.
To make a long story short let me go back to this morning. I was getting ready to go out for college, from where I am supposed to go to Book fair at Maidan. My newly married sister-in-law came hurriedly to my room.
‘Dipu, are you going to kolkata?’
I looked at her suspiciously, to be frank; there is no reason for suspicion. I hardly know her. They have just come back from their honeymoon. Married my elder brother just a fortnight back. Don’t look for any story; it is a simple arranged marriage.
‘Yes?’ I answered and questioned.
‘Can you do me a favor?’
This is murder! How can you expect me to say no to the newly wed sweet thing? I just nodded my head.
‘You see...’ she started hesitatingly.
I kept quiet keeping my eyes on her.
‘You see, your brother is not feeling well....’ . I did not show any concern as I did not see any concern in her eyes either, rather I feel, I saw a little bit of smile in her eyes (may be my illusion).
Hence I kept my waiting face as wooden as possible.
‘He is not going to office today.’ Again pause for both of us.
Am I making it difficult for her? I felt a little pang in my heart. ‘You want me to get a doctor?’
‘No, No, Nothing serious. He has already popped up some pills and will be all right soon.....you see,.... actually,.... I had an appointment with my friend Geeta. I was supposed to meet her at Gariahaat and we are supposed to go for a movie. Can you meet her and tell her that I cannot make it today?’
‘But Gariahaat is in south.....’ my protest got stifled in the middle only looking at her pleading eyes.
‘But I don’t know her. How do I recognize her?’
The million-dollar smile broke out in her face as she sensed the victory.
‘Don’t worry about that. She will be standing in front of Mouchak, the restaurant at Gariahaat market at exactly 2 P.M.
‘How does she look like?’
‘Don’t worry, you cannot miss her. Actually you would have known her if only you would not miss our wedding’ the reproach came out. I missed by brother’s wedding due to some other important engagement for which she has vouched she will never forgive me.
As told, I found the young lady, in scarlet red at the appointed place, at the appointed time.
I am no roadside Romeo. Hence did not hesitate to approach the lady.
“Geeta?’
‘Yes’
‘I have come to give you a message from your friend Romila. She is held up today and excused herself.’
‘What?’
I repeated the message.
‘Are you mad?’
I did not reply but started sensing trouble. I told myself ‘this is not the lady you will like to cross. Save yourself. Make a hasty retreat.’
But when you are young you always do not listen to your inner saner advice.
‘You see.....’ my well-intended clarification only could go this far.
And that’s how it started.
Well. I told her who I am. ‘ Oh. You are the rebel one!’ I did not know what she meant by that exclamation, but felt wise to keep quiet about it.
‘Can we go inside the restaurant and have something cool to drink? I am really thirsty’. I regained some sense of chivalry.
The tired eyes fell on mine, how fast they change?
But I have nothing to complain; rather felt happy to see the conversion from Das-bhuja to normal human being.
‘I never knew she is such a stupid female. How can she do this to me?’ We started our conversation inside the restaurant after a couple of sips of the cool drink.
‘She is not stupid, but the marriage made her stupid’ I commented gravely. I have a serious view that only stupids get married.
She looked up at me.
‘But what do I do now. I told my parents about going for a movie and decked up myself for the occasion. How can I go back now?’
I looked up the beautiful lady draped in a beautiful scarlet red color saree and really felt sorry for her. Poor thing!
“Can you come with me for the movie. It is a good Uttam-Supriya movie..’ she stopped in the middle looking at my face. I am sure she has seen horror on my face.
I thought for a while. Me? The Young Turk, who has vowed to changed the world! Again the shivering started. What will people say if anybody sees me in a theatre watching an Uttam-supriya romantic movie sitting with a beautiful lady romantically? Romance and me? Wasting valuable time? No way.
But how can you say no to this young lady? I started cursing myself. I am getting nervous. All my life, I have studied in all boys’ school, college. Never have interacted with any girl. I even don’t know how to behave with a girl. Definitely it is not an in thing to refuse a girl! I started cursing my bad luck, my sister-in law. How coolly she put me in such an awkward situation.
“You see I understand your problem. But really I cannot go for the movie, as much as I would like to....’ I stopped. Definitely she is not buying my bullshit.
‘You see, I am not making excuses. I have to go to Boimela (Book Fair).’ I tried to look more sincere, which I really was.
Well, sincerity does pay. She believed me. ‘Well then. Let’s go to Boimela. This year I also did not go there.’
I felt jubilant. Not a bad job. It is really another matter. Roaming around the boimela with a female escort is not a very bad thing. It is entirely different than watching a romantic movie.
So that’s how we started. Books are my favorite subject, it is my turf. I never felt want of words in the company of books. We roamed around for hours, discussed about new books, about the crowd, the dust, listened to the poems recited by the budding poets, sat near the waterfront when our feet started aching, ate china badam (fried ground nut) and off course discussed about ourselves also.
It was a start of a long journey. You may be wandering what is the fate of this long journey. Let me keep that for another day.
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