Sunday, November 26, 2006
Prostitution the oldest profession
I was reading an article on massage parlor and massaging service business booming in Hyderabad. I remembered my last visit to Delhi some six months ego, the discussion I had with a friend there on the subject. He was showing me the mushrooming of ads in newspapers on the massage services provided. Incidentally since last couple of years, my association with an NGO working for HIV infected/affected people gave me some insight on the lives of the people engaged in flesh trade. This NGO organizes camps for AIDS awareness, rights of the people engaged in the profession etc. The team consists of young girl counselors, one or two technicians. My contribution is figurative, more of a quartermaster, as I cannot converse in local language. But I get the respect of my age and invariably addressed as ‘Pedda sir’. I discussed the issues related with the counselors who have much deeper understanding. I am presenting the analysis interlaced with my own literary contribution to make it lucid.
Let me start with my first encounter with the people engaged in the profession. I think it was 1970 or 71. In West Bengal, the mass copying was in its highest stage in Board examination. I was reasonably good at Maths and used to be invited as expert for solving maths questions during examination. Let me give you a brief idea of the modus operandi. The question paper used to be leaked out of an examination hall and people like us would sit somewhere nearby and solve the questions. The task was not so simple. The questions had to be solved, passed on inside and to be copied by the examinees within the prescribed time. So normally I used to solve problems one in a single page, one at a time, pass on to copiers, who will make multiple copies and then send those copies to the examinees, and all the process needed to be completed within the prescribed three hours. Now on that particular day I was at Naihati, some 35 odd kms from Kolkata (incidentally birth place of Bankim Chandra Chatterjee, the writer of Bande Mataram song) helping out some friends. I was sitting at roadside near the school and was busy in solving questions. Suddenly I heard, ‘Pala, Pala – run , run, police is coming’. Before I could realize anything I was physically carried away by a few strong boys and found myself dumped in a room nearby. Time is very precious; hence I became busy in solving the paper. After completing the last question, I found myself alone sitting in an unfamiliar room; the rest of the people vanished leaving me. (Anyway my utility was over for at least one year, and who thinks for the next year). I came out of the room and found the surroundings different. It was like a chawl, Doors all around a courtyard. I found women of different ages, different sizes, in different stages of clothing. I got to my senses by a few giggles, realized the situation and made a hasty retreat keeping my honor intact.
During mid eighties I used to visit Cochin regularly. There was a train from Hydeabad to Madras, in which they used to attach a bogie for Cochin. The train used to reach Madras early morning and the Cochin bogie was attached with Cochin express, which used to leave in the evening. One had to spend the day in Madras. Invariable I used to take a nearby lodge for spending the day. Every time, early in the morning, while I used to go around searching for lodging, without fail I used to be approached by rickshaw pullers offering the services of college girls. Initially once or twice I felt indignant, not for offering the services, but for offering at such an ungodly hour. But once it became a routine, I started to grow doubt. Did my face give an impression of a sex-starved maniac? I was so disturbed that I could not discuss this matter with anybody except searching in mirror for any sign. Luckily for me once one of my colleagues, who was the other person covering the same route in similar fashion, disclosed me his predicaments. I got relieved. Thank GOD I am not the only one!
I will talk about another incident.
A couple years back, I was walking down Juhu main road for a luncheon meeting with someone. As I was crossing the house of Film maker B.R.Chopra’s house, I was approached by an auto from behind. Initially, I thought the lady sitting inside approached me asking for some address, but a look at her face and the inviting smile revealed her profession. But now I am a hardened middle-aged person, hence without cringing I could smile her away.
Most of you must be wondering what is the fun of narrating these old stories. Well as we are going to attend a serious issue, I wanted to build up a conducive atmosphere for that.
Most of us Indians are a bit romantic about this profession due to influence of Hindi Films, where invariably they are portrayed as people forced in the profession, kind hearted people dying for the elusive love etc. etc.
Historically Hindu mythology does not have anything against this profession. Rather the depiction of the character of Basantasena (played by Rekha) in the film Utsav eulogizes the profession, showing they were accepted by the society. I don’t know the authenticity of the story, but remember the character Vasantasena from some other story of the same era. Hence I can safely say that they were accepted in ancient Indian society.
Modern day prostitution can go back to the Devadasi system of South India, Baijees of North India. We find the profession was established around temple towns and near Palaces. In Kolkata, main areas are around old Kolkata, where the erstwhile Zamindars resided, in every case the profession was patronized by the high-class society, rich and the aristocracy.
Now what is wrong with the profession? In my mind; nothing. My personal opinion goes something like this; every individual utilizes some of part of his/her body or skill for profession. Then what is wrong if someone is utilizing his/her body for profession?
We are told by books and films that the profession is a family wrecker. I have serious doubt about that. The person, here invariably a man, who wrecks his family due to his addiction to prostitution should be a weak person and will wreck his family anyway by some other method. Now I am treading a dangerous area (which may hackle some provincial ego) but stating it knowing fully well. In and around Hyderabad, it’s very common to hear about people maintaining ‘chinna house’ (the other woman). I think now it’s not anymore secret with the media creating a circus over the Hyderabadi Engineer killed at Afghanistan. Hence putting the tag of family wreckers on the prostitution is gross injustice.
Some may say it is against female gender, as in most of the cases, they are the people at the wrong end of the system, forced in the profession by their relatives, by the circumstances. In my early days I have witnessed women from labor class (otherwise simple decent women) engaged themselves clandestinely in the profession willingly as the only mean of sustaining their families (when the male workers rendered jobless due to prolonged strike in factories). It was a serious social problem but mainly overlooked by the society, as everybody understood the compulsions.
I personally feel that Prostitution should be legalized. This will definitely solve a no. of social evils.
1) Once legalized, the people involved will be free from police harassment and shall get a little more dignity, which they really deserve.
2) The legalization process also should make it compulsory for regular medical check up, which will not only help them but also will help the society in curbing the spread of VD and AIDS. They can avail the social securities like insurance. Today the biggest problem any person engaged in the profession faces is that of their future. Invariably they languish in their old age, neglected by everyone.
3) Legalization process should include stringent punishment for ancillary industries connected like forcible induction. Any person should have the right to choose his/her profession, but forcing him/her should be considered a serious offence. Minimum punishment for forcible induction should not be less than life imprisonment.
4) The people who visit them for whatever the reasons, (there may be some good reasons also-Unmarried/single persons have every right to satisfy their sexual desire) will be able to do that without sense of guilt and hence will reduce the instances of rape and extra marital affairs (doubtful about the extent, but definitely there will be some impact).
5) There will be some decorum in advertising/soliciting. (On my last visit to Bangalore on 2nd November, I have seen them standing in the subway near the Bangalore city Railway station at 4 o’clock in the afternoon. Definitely not a pleasant scene for regular passengers with family)
6) It will reduce the spread of prostitution from un-conventional areas.
Let me delve on the last point more seriously. Actually the main idea of the present blog is to address this issue.
It’s not a new phenomenon. When I was staying in Delhi during 1976-78, I used to hear high society call girl racket involving students from good colleges as famous as Lady Sriram College. Let me clarify, it’s only rumor I heard, so ex-students, don’t jump on me. If wrong, I stay corrected.
Today in Hyderabad, we find regular newspaper headline of raids in various localities, as posh as Banjara Hills, as prude as Marredpally. This is a dangerous trend. The profession is no more practiced by people who are forced to do due to poverty or not finding or not fit for any other alternatives. It has become as easy source of income for anybody. There is rumor about escort system. Girls from good families are sucked into the profession due to lure of easy money, to sustain their expensive lifestyle.
The trend is flourishing by the foolish assumption of a section of patrons, who feel that the highly paid call girls are safer than their cheap counterparts.
There is an urgent need for addressing this serious problem. And legalizing the profession will help this problem. The law should have stiff penalties for illegal prostitution, acting as deterrent for nimble budding entrants. There can be provision of one time exception keeping the vulnerability of young people in mind, who should get at least one chance to reform themselves.
But as I stated earlier in my blog ‘Child labor and the law’, do the people involved in enactment and enforcement of law have the guts to look the problem at its eye and address it? Doubtful. Most of the people involved in this high-class call girl racket as patrons belonging to this society.
Let me start with my first encounter with the people engaged in the profession. I think it was 1970 or 71. In West Bengal, the mass copying was in its highest stage in Board examination. I was reasonably good at Maths and used to be invited as expert for solving maths questions during examination. Let me give you a brief idea of the modus operandi. The question paper used to be leaked out of an examination hall and people like us would sit somewhere nearby and solve the questions. The task was not so simple. The questions had to be solved, passed on inside and to be copied by the examinees within the prescribed time. So normally I used to solve problems one in a single page, one at a time, pass on to copiers, who will make multiple copies and then send those copies to the examinees, and all the process needed to be completed within the prescribed three hours. Now on that particular day I was at Naihati, some 35 odd kms from Kolkata (incidentally birth place of Bankim Chandra Chatterjee, the writer of Bande Mataram song) helping out some friends. I was sitting at roadside near the school and was busy in solving questions. Suddenly I heard, ‘Pala, Pala – run , run, police is coming’. Before I could realize anything I was physically carried away by a few strong boys and found myself dumped in a room nearby. Time is very precious; hence I became busy in solving the paper. After completing the last question, I found myself alone sitting in an unfamiliar room; the rest of the people vanished leaving me. (Anyway my utility was over for at least one year, and who thinks for the next year). I came out of the room and found the surroundings different. It was like a chawl, Doors all around a courtyard. I found women of different ages, different sizes, in different stages of clothing. I got to my senses by a few giggles, realized the situation and made a hasty retreat keeping my honor intact.
During mid eighties I used to visit Cochin regularly. There was a train from Hydeabad to Madras, in which they used to attach a bogie for Cochin. The train used to reach Madras early morning and the Cochin bogie was attached with Cochin express, which used to leave in the evening. One had to spend the day in Madras. Invariable I used to take a nearby lodge for spending the day. Every time, early in the morning, while I used to go around searching for lodging, without fail I used to be approached by rickshaw pullers offering the services of college girls. Initially once or twice I felt indignant, not for offering the services, but for offering at such an ungodly hour. But once it became a routine, I started to grow doubt. Did my face give an impression of a sex-starved maniac? I was so disturbed that I could not discuss this matter with anybody except searching in mirror for any sign. Luckily for me once one of my colleagues, who was the other person covering the same route in similar fashion, disclosed me his predicaments. I got relieved. Thank GOD I am not the only one!
I will talk about another incident.
A couple years back, I was walking down Juhu main road for a luncheon meeting with someone. As I was crossing the house of Film maker B.R.Chopra’s house, I was approached by an auto from behind. Initially, I thought the lady sitting inside approached me asking for some address, but a look at her face and the inviting smile revealed her profession. But now I am a hardened middle-aged person, hence without cringing I could smile her away.
Most of you must be wondering what is the fun of narrating these old stories. Well as we are going to attend a serious issue, I wanted to build up a conducive atmosphere for that.
Most of us Indians are a bit romantic about this profession due to influence of Hindi Films, where invariably they are portrayed as people forced in the profession, kind hearted people dying for the elusive love etc. etc.
Historically Hindu mythology does not have anything against this profession. Rather the depiction of the character of Basantasena (played by Rekha) in the film Utsav eulogizes the profession, showing they were accepted by the society. I don’t know the authenticity of the story, but remember the character Vasantasena from some other story of the same era. Hence I can safely say that they were accepted in ancient Indian society.
Modern day prostitution can go back to the Devadasi system of South India, Baijees of North India. We find the profession was established around temple towns and near Palaces. In Kolkata, main areas are around old Kolkata, where the erstwhile Zamindars resided, in every case the profession was patronized by the high-class society, rich and the aristocracy.
Now what is wrong with the profession? In my mind; nothing. My personal opinion goes something like this; every individual utilizes some of part of his/her body or skill for profession. Then what is wrong if someone is utilizing his/her body for profession?
We are told by books and films that the profession is a family wrecker. I have serious doubt about that. The person, here invariably a man, who wrecks his family due to his addiction to prostitution should be a weak person and will wreck his family anyway by some other method. Now I am treading a dangerous area (which may hackle some provincial ego) but stating it knowing fully well. In and around Hyderabad, it’s very common to hear about people maintaining ‘chinna house’ (the other woman). I think now it’s not anymore secret with the media creating a circus over the Hyderabadi Engineer killed at Afghanistan. Hence putting the tag of family wreckers on the prostitution is gross injustice.
Some may say it is against female gender, as in most of the cases, they are the people at the wrong end of the system, forced in the profession by their relatives, by the circumstances. In my early days I have witnessed women from labor class (otherwise simple decent women) engaged themselves clandestinely in the profession willingly as the only mean of sustaining their families (when the male workers rendered jobless due to prolonged strike in factories). It was a serious social problem but mainly overlooked by the society, as everybody understood the compulsions.
I personally feel that Prostitution should be legalized. This will definitely solve a no. of social evils.
1) Once legalized, the people involved will be free from police harassment and shall get a little more dignity, which they really deserve.
2) The legalization process also should make it compulsory for regular medical check up, which will not only help them but also will help the society in curbing the spread of VD and AIDS. They can avail the social securities like insurance. Today the biggest problem any person engaged in the profession faces is that of their future. Invariably they languish in their old age, neglected by everyone.
3) Legalization process should include stringent punishment for ancillary industries connected like forcible induction. Any person should have the right to choose his/her profession, but forcing him/her should be considered a serious offence. Minimum punishment for forcible induction should not be less than life imprisonment.
4) The people who visit them for whatever the reasons, (there may be some good reasons also-Unmarried/single persons have every right to satisfy their sexual desire) will be able to do that without sense of guilt and hence will reduce the instances of rape and extra marital affairs (doubtful about the extent, but definitely there will be some impact).
5) There will be some decorum in advertising/soliciting. (On my last visit to Bangalore on 2nd November, I have seen them standing in the subway near the Bangalore city Railway station at 4 o’clock in the afternoon. Definitely not a pleasant scene for regular passengers with family)
6) It will reduce the spread of prostitution from un-conventional areas.
Let me delve on the last point more seriously. Actually the main idea of the present blog is to address this issue.
It’s not a new phenomenon. When I was staying in Delhi during 1976-78, I used to hear high society call girl racket involving students from good colleges as famous as Lady Sriram College. Let me clarify, it’s only rumor I heard, so ex-students, don’t jump on me. If wrong, I stay corrected.
Today in Hyderabad, we find regular newspaper headline of raids in various localities, as posh as Banjara Hills, as prude as Marredpally. This is a dangerous trend. The profession is no more practiced by people who are forced to do due to poverty or not finding or not fit for any other alternatives. It has become as easy source of income for anybody. There is rumor about escort system. Girls from good families are sucked into the profession due to lure of easy money, to sustain their expensive lifestyle.
The trend is flourishing by the foolish assumption of a section of patrons, who feel that the highly paid call girls are safer than their cheap counterparts.
There is an urgent need for addressing this serious problem. And legalizing the profession will help this problem. The law should have stiff penalties for illegal prostitution, acting as deterrent for nimble budding entrants. There can be provision of one time exception keeping the vulnerability of young people in mind, who should get at least one chance to reform themselves.
But as I stated earlier in my blog ‘Child labor and the law’, do the people involved in enactment and enforcement of law have the guts to look the problem at its eye and address it? Doubtful. Most of the people involved in this high-class call girl racket as patrons belonging to this society.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
By the way, how does she looks like?
‘Hi’ Satish greeted as he returned home.
‘hi’ the unenthusiastic response did raise a note of concern in mind but did not sink in.
He looked at her, dropping himself on the sofa. The traffic was too much. This city has become too difficult to live in.
‘It took 40 minutes for me to cross one Km. Stretch from Balanagar junction to Sobhana’ he voiced his frustration.
She was busy in her daily dose of newspaper reading.
Satish did not think much and went to the bathroom.
After regular routine of bath and evening mediation as he entered the drawing room, he was surprised to find her immersed in the newspaper. This time he felt concerned. As per daily routine, by now she was supposed to be in kitchen preparing dinner. He tried to think. Did he do anything during the course of the day to create family crisis? A thorough brain washing also could not bring out any incidence. He looked at her. She looked serious also. The effect of mediation is getting washed away. He was getting the feeling of apprehension creeping in mind. Avi is not at home as he went for coaching class and expected to return after 10 p.m. only.
‘The control of mind is the key to peace and happiness, bring calmness in adverse surroundings,’ he recollected the words of Guruji. ‘And it is more needed at the time of crisis’ he reasoned, and closed his eyes, took a deep breath.
‘How long are you going to keep your eyes close?’ the sweet long waited words of the sweetheart startled him.
‘Guruji had the advantage of entering to Sanyas directly from Brahmacharya, how does he know the difficulties of Garhasthashram!’ He opened his eyes, the question mark in it.
Without answering she went to the phone and pressed a button.
‘Hi mom. I am going to Gurdip’s house for taking some notes and shall be late’ the voice of Avi came out from the recording message. Well, Satish could not figure out the meaning, the voice is of their only son Avi, Avinash. As the father, the son also has to give all details of his whereabouts in case of delay; that’s the rule of the house. As he tried to figure out the reason of concern, came another voice.
‘Goddam Avi, Come fast.’ The female voice followed in the background made him sit up.
‘After he came back home I asked him. He confirmed he went to Gurdip’s house. For your information Gurdip does not have any sister, and I am sure the sister would not have addressed Avi in similar way’. The cryptic voice gave the additional information.
Satish agreed.
The voice did concern him. No, he could not find out anything wrong in the voice, rather sweet voice only, the language might be called a little modern.
‘Am I becoming old?’ Satish thought.
No, he could not remember similar language spoken by any of his friend’s daughters.
‘But who knows? May be they behave extra ordinary way with us and use similar lingo with their peers?’ He reasoned.
Anyway matter looks serious enough. Avi is in his twelveth class. Otherwise he is good boy. Till now he did not cause any trouble for Satish. Rather Satish feels proud about his behavior. Both the parents are a bit over protective of their only son, which made them put him in a school instead of Junior college for 11th and 12th class. Satish feels that in schools the students are more disciplined. The school atmosphere retains the freshness in children.
Satish tried to take stock of the situation. He tried to recollect his childhood.
’16 is dangerous age’ he thought.
‘Adolescence is not an easy life, so many questions come in mind.’ He stifled the smile automatically came out remembering his own crushes. As a man he understands the mind of a boy of this age. But he cannot explain that to the wife. It will generate another family crisis, if he tells his tales.
‘Well leave it to me. I will handle. You don’t talk to him.
‘I don’t think there is anything to be worried about’. Satish tried to assure but but did not like the look she gave in answer. She left for kitchen, making Satish take a sigh of relief.
‘The situation is not that bad, At least we are not going to be deprived of dinner’. He felt relieved.
The dinner went off well.
‘Thank GOD, the curries did not get spoiled by the spoilt mood of my wife’! Satish thought.
After dinner they sat with their daily routine of sitting in front of the idiot box.
‘How are you faring up in coaching?’ His casual question got normal response from Avi. Now and then he has to withstand the parental enquiries on his studies. He has taken these parental enquiries as necessary nuisance of the process of growing up.
‘I believe you were late today from college?’
This question did startle him, Satish noticed.
‘Ya I had to go to Gurdip’s house for taking some notes’.
‘Where does Gurdip stay? Did I see him?’
‘No, They stay at Sainikpuri’.
‘Why you had to take note from him? Are you bunking classes?’ Satish asked again casually tried to make it palatable sounding as humor.
‘Last Saturday I bunked class for the cricket match. I told you about the match, we gave good thrashing to KV Bolurum’ he reminded dad, in tolerant voice.
‘Dad is becoming real forgetful’ Avi thought.
‘You were alone or there were other people with you’.
This time Avi looked up seriously.
‘Why should I take someone with me to take note?’ A clear sign of indignation in the voice.
Satish got up seriously, the trace of smile vanished from his face, switched off the TV. He pressed the button of the voice recorder.
Pin drop silent ensued.
Satish kept his eyes on Avi’s face, which first shown the sign of incredulity. The face became black.
‘She is my classmate. We went out to Bakers’ corner after college along with other friends. Today we were celebrating our win in last Saturday’s match’. Avi blurted out angrily.
‘Why did you lie?
‘Definitely mummy would not have liked it’ Avi’s angry voice came out.
‘You are being unfair to mummy. How did you decide she would not have liked it? It’s a pre-conceived notion you have. The notion you might have got from the TV serials you watch or from the attitude of some other mother, may be your friends’ mothers or maybe from some one else. Without giving her any chance you have given the judgment. At least you should have tried once.’
Avi sat there without answering, anger in his face.
‘I am sorry Avi. I am very much disappointed. I never expected this from you. I know you are studying in co-ed school and it is expected that your list of friends shall include girls. I am feeling bad that you did not trust us. You know very well that I don’t like lie from my family members. It gives me a sense of failure. I feel it is failure on my part as I could not give the confidence in my son to trust me.’ Satish spoke in small voice, the hurt very pronounced in his voice.
Avi stormed out of the room to enter his bedroom.
Satish looked at his wife, assuring her with his eyes.
Half an hour or so passed. Nobody spoke anything.
Avi came out of his room and sat beside his dad.
‘I am sorry dad’.
Satish looked at his wife, who was glowing with satisfaction. Satish patted Avi on his shoulder. Smile broke out on each face. Avi switched on the TV.
‘By the way, how does she look like?’ Satish asked, making all of them to splinter in laughter.
‘hi’ the unenthusiastic response did raise a note of concern in mind but did not sink in.
He looked at her, dropping himself on the sofa. The traffic was too much. This city has become too difficult to live in.
‘It took 40 minutes for me to cross one Km. Stretch from Balanagar junction to Sobhana’ he voiced his frustration.
She was busy in her daily dose of newspaper reading.
Satish did not think much and went to the bathroom.
After regular routine of bath and evening mediation as he entered the drawing room, he was surprised to find her immersed in the newspaper. This time he felt concerned. As per daily routine, by now she was supposed to be in kitchen preparing dinner. He tried to think. Did he do anything during the course of the day to create family crisis? A thorough brain washing also could not bring out any incidence. He looked at her. She looked serious also. The effect of mediation is getting washed away. He was getting the feeling of apprehension creeping in mind. Avi is not at home as he went for coaching class and expected to return after 10 p.m. only.
‘The control of mind is the key to peace and happiness, bring calmness in adverse surroundings,’ he recollected the words of Guruji. ‘And it is more needed at the time of crisis’ he reasoned, and closed his eyes, took a deep breath.
‘How long are you going to keep your eyes close?’ the sweet long waited words of the sweetheart startled him.
‘Guruji had the advantage of entering to Sanyas directly from Brahmacharya, how does he know the difficulties of Garhasthashram!’ He opened his eyes, the question mark in it.
Without answering she went to the phone and pressed a button.
‘Hi mom. I am going to Gurdip’s house for taking some notes and shall be late’ the voice of Avi came out from the recording message. Well, Satish could not figure out the meaning, the voice is of their only son Avi, Avinash. As the father, the son also has to give all details of his whereabouts in case of delay; that’s the rule of the house. As he tried to figure out the reason of concern, came another voice.
‘Goddam Avi, Come fast.’ The female voice followed in the background made him sit up.
‘After he came back home I asked him. He confirmed he went to Gurdip’s house. For your information Gurdip does not have any sister, and I am sure the sister would not have addressed Avi in similar way’. The cryptic voice gave the additional information.
Satish agreed.
The voice did concern him. No, he could not find out anything wrong in the voice, rather sweet voice only, the language might be called a little modern.
‘Am I becoming old?’ Satish thought.
No, he could not remember similar language spoken by any of his friend’s daughters.
‘But who knows? May be they behave extra ordinary way with us and use similar lingo with their peers?’ He reasoned.
Anyway matter looks serious enough. Avi is in his twelveth class. Otherwise he is good boy. Till now he did not cause any trouble for Satish. Rather Satish feels proud about his behavior. Both the parents are a bit over protective of their only son, which made them put him in a school instead of Junior college for 11th and 12th class. Satish feels that in schools the students are more disciplined. The school atmosphere retains the freshness in children.
Satish tried to take stock of the situation. He tried to recollect his childhood.
’16 is dangerous age’ he thought.
‘Adolescence is not an easy life, so many questions come in mind.’ He stifled the smile automatically came out remembering his own crushes. As a man he understands the mind of a boy of this age. But he cannot explain that to the wife. It will generate another family crisis, if he tells his tales.
‘Well leave it to me. I will handle. You don’t talk to him.
‘I don’t think there is anything to be worried about’. Satish tried to assure but but did not like the look she gave in answer. She left for kitchen, making Satish take a sigh of relief.
‘The situation is not that bad, At least we are not going to be deprived of dinner’. He felt relieved.
The dinner went off well.
‘Thank GOD, the curries did not get spoiled by the spoilt mood of my wife’! Satish thought.
After dinner they sat with their daily routine of sitting in front of the idiot box.
‘How are you faring up in coaching?’ His casual question got normal response from Avi. Now and then he has to withstand the parental enquiries on his studies. He has taken these parental enquiries as necessary nuisance of the process of growing up.
‘I believe you were late today from college?’
This question did startle him, Satish noticed.
‘Ya I had to go to Gurdip’s house for taking some notes’.
‘Where does Gurdip stay? Did I see him?’
‘No, They stay at Sainikpuri’.
‘Why you had to take note from him? Are you bunking classes?’ Satish asked again casually tried to make it palatable sounding as humor.
‘Last Saturday I bunked class for the cricket match. I told you about the match, we gave good thrashing to KV Bolurum’ he reminded dad, in tolerant voice.
‘Dad is becoming real forgetful’ Avi thought.
‘You were alone or there were other people with you’.
This time Avi looked up seriously.
‘Why should I take someone with me to take note?’ A clear sign of indignation in the voice.
Satish got up seriously, the trace of smile vanished from his face, switched off the TV. He pressed the button of the voice recorder.
Pin drop silent ensued.
Satish kept his eyes on Avi’s face, which first shown the sign of incredulity. The face became black.
‘She is my classmate. We went out to Bakers’ corner after college along with other friends. Today we were celebrating our win in last Saturday’s match’. Avi blurted out angrily.
‘Why did you lie?
‘Definitely mummy would not have liked it’ Avi’s angry voice came out.
‘You are being unfair to mummy. How did you decide she would not have liked it? It’s a pre-conceived notion you have. The notion you might have got from the TV serials you watch or from the attitude of some other mother, may be your friends’ mothers or maybe from some one else. Without giving her any chance you have given the judgment. At least you should have tried once.’
Avi sat there without answering, anger in his face.
‘I am sorry Avi. I am very much disappointed. I never expected this from you. I know you are studying in co-ed school and it is expected that your list of friends shall include girls. I am feeling bad that you did not trust us. You know very well that I don’t like lie from my family members. It gives me a sense of failure. I feel it is failure on my part as I could not give the confidence in my son to trust me.’ Satish spoke in small voice, the hurt very pronounced in his voice.
Avi stormed out of the room to enter his bedroom.
Satish looked at his wife, assuring her with his eyes.
Half an hour or so passed. Nobody spoke anything.
Avi came out of his room and sat beside his dad.
‘I am sorry dad’.
Satish looked at his wife, who was glowing with satisfaction. Satish patted Avi on his shoulder. Smile broke out on each face. Avi switched on the TV.
‘By the way, how does she look like?’ Satish asked, making all of them to splinter in laughter.
Labels: adolescence, girls
Friday, November 24, 2006
A sad story
Shahida is looking at her best, all decked up. Her sisters, Hazra, Shamina, kulsum surrounded her and are helping her in dressing. Today they are coming to see Shahida. Maqbul chacha arranged an alliance. The boy is an electrician works in Dubai. Well off family.
‘She is looking really beautiful’ thought Hazra, the second sister.
‘Come outside they have arrived’, someone shouted. All the girls ran out to get a glimpse of the boy. As they came out to the other room of their hut, Abbu entered with three persons through the main door.
‘Salam aalequm’ all the girls showed their respect to the visitors to be responded in expected manner. The visitors were offered seats on the chairs borrowed by Iqbal, the only brother. The girls went back to the door of the backroom and kept watching the proceedings. The groom has come with his father Nasir. The third person was the matchmaker Maqbul.
The party went away after completing the formalities of seeing Shahida, asking her a few irrelevant questions etc etc. Father Hasim informed his inability of giving big dowry, but agreed to try the requirements, if spelt out.
‘We will inform you soon’; the answer did not satisfy anyone.
‘They have agreed not for Shahida but for Hazra’, Maqbul chahca threw the bombshell.
‘What are you talking?’ Abbu spoke out with the indignation it deserved.
‘Look Hasim mian, the boy is good. You have already approved him as your son-in-law. What difference does it make for which daughter?’
‘But Hazra is only sixteen years old’, cried the mother.
‘At what age did you get married?’ Maqbul chacha did not hide his unhappiness.
‘The boy is good, working in Dubai, Earns good money. Hazra’s life will change.’
He offered his last weapon, ‘they even are ready to marry without any dowry.’
Silence ensued. Everyone’s eyes fell on Hazra, clad in an old faded salwar kameez.
‘OK, let’s talk, we will inform you latter’, Mother dismissed Maqbul.
‘But you have to decide by tomorrow. They want to complete Nikah by this Friday. The boy is going back next Monday’.
‘That’s too short a time’, exclaimed everyone.
‘What’s your problem? Are you going to arrange a shadi fit for Nizam? It’s good for you. You need not invite everyone giving the paucity of time as excuse. I know your financial condition.’ Maqbul spoke tersely as he went out.
‘I don’t like it’. Nazma, the mother complained.
‘But this is a golden opportunity for us. I think we should not loose the opportunity’ Hasim shouted, he was reeking with smell of gudamba.
‘You bloody drunkard! Do you ever think about your daughters? She is only sixteen years old. And what about Shahida? Did you realize how would she take it? You have never bothered about them. They are managing themselves working since their childhood. Hazra was a good student but she had to leave the school after 5th standard to support the family.’
‘You stupid woman, you are always after my drink. How dare you talk like that?’ Hasim gave a few blows on the hapless woman. ‘I am their father. I am going to convey my acceptance. We will have the Nikah by this Friday’.
He was feeling dry in his mouth and went away to quench his thirst.
Shahida left the room indignantly. Hazra did not know what to do.
‘Amma, let’s not loose this opportunity’ Iqbal quipped.
Mother looked at Hazra and sighed.
Hazra did not remember how the next few days went away. She was sixteen years old. She understood everything about marriage. Actually she was already running an affair with the nearby garage mechanic Rahim. She was not sure about love and other things, but did understand the biological needs.
Initially it was a bit shock. But once the matter struck in her mind she found pleasure in the thought. The boy, Ibrahim, is not such a good looking, but ok. She kept on remembering him even in the hectic activities of marriage.
‘Qabul hai’, Hazra heard her voice answering to the Qazi shahebs question. ‘Shadi Mubarak’, everyone gathered congratulated.
The small room was decorated for the consummation of the marriage. Hazra waited for her husband eagerly. By now she is fully ready for her husband mentally.
The first night was a great night for her, to be followed by two more nights, this time at her in-law’s place.
Ibrahim left for Dubai, but wrote letters regularly. He even called her on phone at the nearby PCO every fortnight at prefixed times.
One morning Hazra felt sick while getting up in the morning. Mother-in-law took her to the doctor, who pronounced her pregnancy. Everybody was happy. Only sore note was sounded by the doctor didi, the lady gynecologist.
‘You people do not have any sense. Is it her time to become mother?’ She shouted on her mother-in-law, who accompanied Hazra. But everyone was so happy that nobody really bothered.
The regular phone calls from Ibrahim started diminishing. He was even faltering in sending money regularly. The face of mother-in-law started darkening. She started complaining about he raising cost of living.
Hazra did not know what to do? Hazra wrote to Ibrahim requesting him to send money regularly. The expenses are increasing with the advancement of pregnancy. There was no reply.
Hazra delivered a healthy boy. The doctor didi was relieved. She was worried about child pregnancy, but everything went on well. Hazra did not know whether to feel happy or not.
The phones from Ibrahim stopped. Letters were also reduced to one in two months. He did not send money for last 3 months.
She was staying with her mother for the last month of her pregnancy. But after the delivery also nobody from her in-laws house showed any interest to take her back.
Her father was very angry, so the other siblings. The burden of the married daughter and her newborn child was too much for them. All the other girls were working and they did not feel happy when they saw their hard earned money is spent on Hazra. Only mother was supporting her not knowing what to do.
One day the most expected news came. Ibrahim is coming back. Hazra was overjoyed.
Now all her problems will be solved. The mother-in-law came running to take her back.
On the day of arrival everyone went to Begumpet Railway station to receive Ibrahim, the day before he has arrived at Mumbai. Father Hasim and brother Iqbal also came and went to receive the son-in-law.
After a long time Hazra again dressed herself. She decked up her baby boy also.
She was shocked seeing the person entered along with her father-in-law and her father. Ibrahim could not be recognised. He was sick. Hazra did not know what to say and what to do. Everyone was crowding around. Ibrahim. But he did not talk to anyone but went inside.
All the festivities of the house went away.
Next day Ibrahim informed.
He is suffering from AIDS.
Ibrahim is admitted in a hospital. In-laws have thrown away Hazra. She went back to her mother’s place, but none wanted her there. The tests conducted on Hazra and the baby showed both of them HIV positive.
Hasim and Iqbal, father and son started insisting mother to throw her away. The stigma is going to kill them. Who is going to marry the other girls? They were also worried that the disease will spread to others. They stopped interacting with Hazra and her son. Luckily it’s summer and Hazra could at least sleep at the courtyard. She was not allowed to step inside the house.
Mother felt helpless.
‘I want justice.’ Shrieked the mother.
Mother has become hysterical. For once in her life she rebelled. She called the religious and neighborhood elders for solving her problem.
‘This man has brought death to my daughter. Not death, a death much more painful than death,’ she shouted pointing out at her son-in-law, who was sitting at a corner.
‘This man has committed murder. He is responsible for double murder, one young girl and one infant. I want punishment. I want justice’ cried the mother.
The elders did not understand what punishment to be meted out. They did realize the grievousness of the crime, but they were helpless.
This story is based on a real life incident. Along with the elders I also was pondering:
Is this not a crime against woman? Is this not a serious crime to send an unsuspected young girl to a death much painful than murder? Is this crime less heinous than rape and murder?
I could not find any answer. Now I am asking you, what do you think?
‘She is looking really beautiful’ thought Hazra, the second sister.
‘Come outside they have arrived’, someone shouted. All the girls ran out to get a glimpse of the boy. As they came out to the other room of their hut, Abbu entered with three persons through the main door.
‘Salam aalequm’ all the girls showed their respect to the visitors to be responded in expected manner. The visitors were offered seats on the chairs borrowed by Iqbal, the only brother. The girls went back to the door of the backroom and kept watching the proceedings. The groom has come with his father Nasir. The third person was the matchmaker Maqbul.
The party went away after completing the formalities of seeing Shahida, asking her a few irrelevant questions etc etc. Father Hasim informed his inability of giving big dowry, but agreed to try the requirements, if spelt out.
‘We will inform you soon’; the answer did not satisfy anyone.
‘They have agreed not for Shahida but for Hazra’, Maqbul chahca threw the bombshell.
‘What are you talking?’ Abbu spoke out with the indignation it deserved.
‘Look Hasim mian, the boy is good. You have already approved him as your son-in-law. What difference does it make for which daughter?’
‘But Hazra is only sixteen years old’, cried the mother.
‘At what age did you get married?’ Maqbul chacha did not hide his unhappiness.
‘The boy is good, working in Dubai, Earns good money. Hazra’s life will change.’
He offered his last weapon, ‘they even are ready to marry without any dowry.’
Silence ensued. Everyone’s eyes fell on Hazra, clad in an old faded salwar kameez.
‘OK, let’s talk, we will inform you latter’, Mother dismissed Maqbul.
‘But you have to decide by tomorrow. They want to complete Nikah by this Friday. The boy is going back next Monday’.
‘That’s too short a time’, exclaimed everyone.
‘What’s your problem? Are you going to arrange a shadi fit for Nizam? It’s good for you. You need not invite everyone giving the paucity of time as excuse. I know your financial condition.’ Maqbul spoke tersely as he went out.
‘I don’t like it’. Nazma, the mother complained.
‘But this is a golden opportunity for us. I think we should not loose the opportunity’ Hasim shouted, he was reeking with smell of gudamba.
‘You bloody drunkard! Do you ever think about your daughters? She is only sixteen years old. And what about Shahida? Did you realize how would she take it? You have never bothered about them. They are managing themselves working since their childhood. Hazra was a good student but she had to leave the school after 5th standard to support the family.’
‘You stupid woman, you are always after my drink. How dare you talk like that?’ Hasim gave a few blows on the hapless woman. ‘I am their father. I am going to convey my acceptance. We will have the Nikah by this Friday’.
He was feeling dry in his mouth and went away to quench his thirst.
Shahida left the room indignantly. Hazra did not know what to do.
‘Amma, let’s not loose this opportunity’ Iqbal quipped.
Mother looked at Hazra and sighed.
Hazra did not remember how the next few days went away. She was sixteen years old. She understood everything about marriage. Actually she was already running an affair with the nearby garage mechanic Rahim. She was not sure about love and other things, but did understand the biological needs.
Initially it was a bit shock. But once the matter struck in her mind she found pleasure in the thought. The boy, Ibrahim, is not such a good looking, but ok. She kept on remembering him even in the hectic activities of marriage.
‘Qabul hai’, Hazra heard her voice answering to the Qazi shahebs question. ‘Shadi Mubarak’, everyone gathered congratulated.
The small room was decorated for the consummation of the marriage. Hazra waited for her husband eagerly. By now she is fully ready for her husband mentally.
The first night was a great night for her, to be followed by two more nights, this time at her in-law’s place.
Ibrahim left for Dubai, but wrote letters regularly. He even called her on phone at the nearby PCO every fortnight at prefixed times.
One morning Hazra felt sick while getting up in the morning. Mother-in-law took her to the doctor, who pronounced her pregnancy. Everybody was happy. Only sore note was sounded by the doctor didi, the lady gynecologist.
‘You people do not have any sense. Is it her time to become mother?’ She shouted on her mother-in-law, who accompanied Hazra. But everyone was so happy that nobody really bothered.
The regular phone calls from Ibrahim started diminishing. He was even faltering in sending money regularly. The face of mother-in-law started darkening. She started complaining about he raising cost of living.
Hazra did not know what to do? Hazra wrote to Ibrahim requesting him to send money regularly. The expenses are increasing with the advancement of pregnancy. There was no reply.
Hazra delivered a healthy boy. The doctor didi was relieved. She was worried about child pregnancy, but everything went on well. Hazra did not know whether to feel happy or not.
The phones from Ibrahim stopped. Letters were also reduced to one in two months. He did not send money for last 3 months.
She was staying with her mother for the last month of her pregnancy. But after the delivery also nobody from her in-laws house showed any interest to take her back.
Her father was very angry, so the other siblings. The burden of the married daughter and her newborn child was too much for them. All the other girls were working and they did not feel happy when they saw their hard earned money is spent on Hazra. Only mother was supporting her not knowing what to do.
One day the most expected news came. Ibrahim is coming back. Hazra was overjoyed.
Now all her problems will be solved. The mother-in-law came running to take her back.
On the day of arrival everyone went to Begumpet Railway station to receive Ibrahim, the day before he has arrived at Mumbai. Father Hasim and brother Iqbal also came and went to receive the son-in-law.
After a long time Hazra again dressed herself. She decked up her baby boy also.
She was shocked seeing the person entered along with her father-in-law and her father. Ibrahim could not be recognised. He was sick. Hazra did not know what to say and what to do. Everyone was crowding around. Ibrahim. But he did not talk to anyone but went inside.
All the festivities of the house went away.
Next day Ibrahim informed.
He is suffering from AIDS.
Ibrahim is admitted in a hospital. In-laws have thrown away Hazra. She went back to her mother’s place, but none wanted her there. The tests conducted on Hazra and the baby showed both of them HIV positive.
Hasim and Iqbal, father and son started insisting mother to throw her away. The stigma is going to kill them. Who is going to marry the other girls? They were also worried that the disease will spread to others. They stopped interacting with Hazra and her son. Luckily it’s summer and Hazra could at least sleep at the courtyard. She was not allowed to step inside the house.
Mother felt helpless.
‘I want justice.’ Shrieked the mother.
Mother has become hysterical. For once in her life she rebelled. She called the religious and neighborhood elders for solving her problem.
‘This man has brought death to my daughter. Not death, a death much more painful than death,’ she shouted pointing out at her son-in-law, who was sitting at a corner.
‘This man has committed murder. He is responsible for double murder, one young girl and one infant. I want punishment. I want justice’ cried the mother.
The elders did not understand what punishment to be meted out. They did realize the grievousness of the crime, but they were helpless.
This story is based on a real life incident. Along with the elders I also was pondering:
Is this not a crime against woman? Is this not a serious crime to send an unsuspected young girl to a death much painful than murder? Is this crime less heinous than rape and murder?
I could not find any answer. Now I am asking you, what do you think?
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Live-in relationship and marriage
The recent enactment of law against domestic violence has opened up one debate of Live-in Relationship. Today let me ponder on the subject.
Firstly let me make my position clear. Personally I believe that Live-in relationship is an act of escapism from responsibility. The marriage calls for some responsibility from both the partners. I am sorry to say that the present generation has less sense of responsibility and the live-in relationship is one of the manifestations of that lack of sense of responsibility. Again let me make it clear that it is my personal opinion.
There are n nos. of arguments regarding the difficulties of a failed marriage. How people are forced to endure failed marriages due to non-availability of alternatives, social stigma etc. etc. Some of the proponents of live-in relationship give this example to uphold the usefulness of live-in relationship.
Let us take the issues one by one.
The extension of the above said act to the live-in relationship itself is an acceptance of the fact that the live-in relationship does not help anyone from the abuse by a partner. Rather it counters the basic premises of the live-in relationship. It is a matter of serious review how the live-in relationship can be affected by domestic violence. Because we generally presume that this course of life is chosen by individuals with stronger mental set up. It is a matter of debate how they cannot get away from the relationship. Anyway let’s not argue on that, as looks like, it is a fact that this relationship also is subject to domestic violence.
The second argument is that the Live-in relationship can be used as a pre-parital arrangement to find out the compatibility of the partners. Which is a fallacy. The very essence of marriage is understanding and adjustment, which cannot be expected from the Live-in relationship. By accepting to a live-in relationship the couple agrees that they are not in favor of any adjustments and understandings.
One more point I would like to stress upon is that; it is also a kind of mental insecurity of the persons involved. Some of them may try it, as it is the in-thing to do, some of them to show their independence and some of them are just to follow a hep lifestyle followed by who and who of the society.
But I believe that if a couple decides to have a live-in relationship instead of marriage for the convenience, it should be fine. In today’s life some people have different meaning of life. A carefree life where personal comfort and career is more important than relationship. Some people may find it more comfortable to have a relationship without the sanctity of marriage. Sometime back it was reported in one of the magazines, that a substantial no. of urban populace are reluctant to take up the hassle of children. I may find it selfish but there is nothing wrong in that. Once the premises of the relationship are drawn out, any relationship would be good enough when both the parties agree to that. But let’s agree to that, instead of giving some other excuses like failed marriages etc. etc.
Here I would also like to talk about love marriage and arranged marriage. Here again it is statistically proved that love marriages are much more fragile than arranged marriages, which itself counters the argument that premarital relationship helps in finding compatible partners. The reason put forward are; in arranged marriages the individual normally do not like to break the marriage, due to social pressure and forced to endure the trauma. Which I find generally not to be true. Yes there are incidences, but if you analyze, the percentage should be very low. I feel the arranged marriages are much more strong because they have a wider support structure. There arises occasions when the couple find themselves incompatible, but with little nudge and support from the elders, they find ways of adjusting thus saving the marriage.
I have another small problem, which may not be directly related to the issue. The obsession of a section of people of declaring their sexual preferences in public. I don’t have problem of gay and lesbians for their choice of sexual behavior, but I have problem with their announcements. Why cannot they keep their sexual preference inside their bedroom or for that matter whatever room they choose, as long they are inside four walls. (I don’t have any problem of Shane Warne using hotel broom room for one of his sexual escapades, or was it another sportsperson?)
The matter of premarital and preparital sex is another case of debate.
I will recount an incident I witnessed long time back. I visited one place called Kop para near Dhalbhumgarh, now in Jharkhand on the West Bengal-jharkhand-Orissa border. I attended one village fair of the tribals on the occasion of Makar Sankranti. The setting was something like this; there was a banyan tree in the middle of a market. From late afternoon young girls and boys started assembling wearing their best dresses. When darkness of the evening fell upon the area the girls started dancing around the banyan tree. The boys, fully attired including bow and arrow, some even with country made rifles on their shoulders, were the onlookers. I found some of he boys carrying lanterns, petromaxes. I was a bit surprised that none of them bothered to hang the lights for providing permanent lighting; rather they were carrying individual lights for their own purpose. I was a small boy of 17/18. As the night progressed I noticed that the crowd was getting thinner but did not bother to find out the reason. As I was too tired, walked more than 10/15 kms to reach the spot, I was tired and did not realize when I slept. When I woke up I found myself under the banyan tree no one around. The early morning darkness was still there. As I proceeded towards my host’s house I found couples in the act anywhere and everywhere behind bushes, fields.
Afterward I was told that the fair is used for marriage. Boys and girls assemble there, choose their partners, live there for 3 days and at the end, if find themselves compatible, take the bride home. If not, both of them go back to their respective homes and wait for the next year.
(Since long, every year, I plan to go there once more to find out if the custom is followed till now, but somehow not able to find time).
Here we find the people having preparital sex. But if we look closely we find that you cannot call it a preparital sex. It is a matter of only three days. Rather I will call it an extended version of the marriage, only here the sex comes before marriage, and one can term it as a honeymoon before marriage.
I would like to advice my young friends against premarital sex not for any moral reasons; rather for the simple reason that it robs the marriage of two of its vital ingredients; expectation and anticipation.
Firstly let me make my position clear. Personally I believe that Live-in relationship is an act of escapism from responsibility. The marriage calls for some responsibility from both the partners. I am sorry to say that the present generation has less sense of responsibility and the live-in relationship is one of the manifestations of that lack of sense of responsibility. Again let me make it clear that it is my personal opinion.
There are n nos. of arguments regarding the difficulties of a failed marriage. How people are forced to endure failed marriages due to non-availability of alternatives, social stigma etc. etc. Some of the proponents of live-in relationship give this example to uphold the usefulness of live-in relationship.
Let us take the issues one by one.
The extension of the above said act to the live-in relationship itself is an acceptance of the fact that the live-in relationship does not help anyone from the abuse by a partner. Rather it counters the basic premises of the live-in relationship. It is a matter of serious review how the live-in relationship can be affected by domestic violence. Because we generally presume that this course of life is chosen by individuals with stronger mental set up. It is a matter of debate how they cannot get away from the relationship. Anyway let’s not argue on that, as looks like, it is a fact that this relationship also is subject to domestic violence.
The second argument is that the Live-in relationship can be used as a pre-parital arrangement to find out the compatibility of the partners. Which is a fallacy. The very essence of marriage is understanding and adjustment, which cannot be expected from the Live-in relationship. By accepting to a live-in relationship the couple agrees that they are not in favor of any adjustments and understandings.
One more point I would like to stress upon is that; it is also a kind of mental insecurity of the persons involved. Some of them may try it, as it is the in-thing to do, some of them to show their independence and some of them are just to follow a hep lifestyle followed by who and who of the society.
But I believe that if a couple decides to have a live-in relationship instead of marriage for the convenience, it should be fine. In today’s life some people have different meaning of life. A carefree life where personal comfort and career is more important than relationship. Some people may find it more comfortable to have a relationship without the sanctity of marriage. Sometime back it was reported in one of the magazines, that a substantial no. of urban populace are reluctant to take up the hassle of children. I may find it selfish but there is nothing wrong in that. Once the premises of the relationship are drawn out, any relationship would be good enough when both the parties agree to that. But let’s agree to that, instead of giving some other excuses like failed marriages etc. etc.
Here I would also like to talk about love marriage and arranged marriage. Here again it is statistically proved that love marriages are much more fragile than arranged marriages, which itself counters the argument that premarital relationship helps in finding compatible partners. The reason put forward are; in arranged marriages the individual normally do not like to break the marriage, due to social pressure and forced to endure the trauma. Which I find generally not to be true. Yes there are incidences, but if you analyze, the percentage should be very low. I feel the arranged marriages are much more strong because they have a wider support structure. There arises occasions when the couple find themselves incompatible, but with little nudge and support from the elders, they find ways of adjusting thus saving the marriage.
I have another small problem, which may not be directly related to the issue. The obsession of a section of people of declaring their sexual preferences in public. I don’t have problem of gay and lesbians for their choice of sexual behavior, but I have problem with their announcements. Why cannot they keep their sexual preference inside their bedroom or for that matter whatever room they choose, as long they are inside four walls. (I don’t have any problem of Shane Warne using hotel broom room for one of his sexual escapades, or was it another sportsperson?)
The matter of premarital and preparital sex is another case of debate.
I will recount an incident I witnessed long time back. I visited one place called Kop para near Dhalbhumgarh, now in Jharkhand on the West Bengal-jharkhand-Orissa border. I attended one village fair of the tribals on the occasion of Makar Sankranti. The setting was something like this; there was a banyan tree in the middle of a market. From late afternoon young girls and boys started assembling wearing their best dresses. When darkness of the evening fell upon the area the girls started dancing around the banyan tree. The boys, fully attired including bow and arrow, some even with country made rifles on their shoulders, were the onlookers. I found some of he boys carrying lanterns, petromaxes. I was a bit surprised that none of them bothered to hang the lights for providing permanent lighting; rather they were carrying individual lights for their own purpose. I was a small boy of 17/18. As the night progressed I noticed that the crowd was getting thinner but did not bother to find out the reason. As I was too tired, walked more than 10/15 kms to reach the spot, I was tired and did not realize when I slept. When I woke up I found myself under the banyan tree no one around. The early morning darkness was still there. As I proceeded towards my host’s house I found couples in the act anywhere and everywhere behind bushes, fields.
Afterward I was told that the fair is used for marriage. Boys and girls assemble there, choose their partners, live there for 3 days and at the end, if find themselves compatible, take the bride home. If not, both of them go back to their respective homes and wait for the next year.
(Since long, every year, I plan to go there once more to find out if the custom is followed till now, but somehow not able to find time).
Here we find the people having preparital sex. But if we look closely we find that you cannot call it a preparital sex. It is a matter of only three days. Rather I will call it an extended version of the marriage, only here the sex comes before marriage, and one can term it as a honeymoon before marriage.
I would like to advice my young friends against premarital sex not for any moral reasons; rather for the simple reason that it robs the marriage of two of its vital ingredients; expectation and anticipation.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Prostitution - the oldest profession
Prostitution- the oldest profession
I was reading an article on massage parlor and massaging service business booming in Hyderabad. I remembered my last visit to Delhi some six months ego, the discussion I had with a friend there on the subject. He was showing me the mushrooming of ads in newspapers on the massage services provided. Incidentally since last couple of years, my association with an NGO working for HIV infected/affected people gave me some insight on the lives of the people engaged in flesh trade. This NGO organizes camps for AIDS awareness, rights of the people engaged in the profession etc. The team consists of young girl counselors, one or two technicians. My contribution is figurative, more of a quartermaster, as I cannot converse in local language. But I get the respect of my age and invariably addressed as ‘Pedda sir’. I discussed the issues related with the counselors who have much deeper understanding. I am presenting the analysis interlaced with my own literary contribution to make it lucid.
Let me start with my first encounter with the people engaged in the profession. I think it was 1970 or 71. In West Bengal, the mass copying was in its highest stage in Board examination. I was reasonably good at Maths and used to be invited as expert for solving maths questions during examination. Let me give you a brief idea of the modus operandi. The question paper used to be leaked out of an examination hall and people like us would sit somewhere nearby and solve the questions. The task was not so simple. The questions had to be solved, passed on inside and to be copied by the examinees within the prescribed time. So normally I used to solve problems one in a single page, one at a time, pass on to copiers, who will make multiple copies and then send those copies to the examinees, and all the process needed to be completed within the prescribed three hours. Now on that particular day I was at Naihati, some 35 odd kms from Kolkata (incidentally birth place of Bankim Chandra Chatterjee, the writer of Bande Mataram song) helping out some friends. I was sitting at roadside near the school and was busy in solving questions. Suddenly I heard, ‘Pala, Pala – run , run, police is coming’. Before I could realize anything I was physically carried away by a few strong boys and found myself dumped in a room nearby. Time is very precious; hence I became busy in solving the paper. After completing the last question, I found myself alone sitting in an unfamiliar room; the rest of the people vanished leaving me. (Anyway my utility was over for at least one year, and who thinks for the next year). I came out of the room and found the surroundings different. It was like a chawl, Doors all around a courtyard. I found women of different ages, different sizes, in different stages of clothing. I got to my senses by a few giggles, realized the situation and made a hasty retreat keeping my honor intact.
During mid eighties I used to visit Cochin regularly. There was a train from Hydeabad to Madras, in which they used to attach a bogie for Cochin. The train used to reach Madras early morning and the Cochin bogie was attached with Cochin express, which used to leave in the evening. One had to spend the day in Madras. Invariable I used to take a nearby lodge for spending the day. Every time, early in the morning, while I used to go around searching for lodging, without fail I used to be approached by rickshaw pullers offering the services of college girls. Initially once or twice I felt indignant, not for offering the services, but for offering at such an ungodly hour. But once it became a routine, I started to grow doubt. Did my face give an impression of a sex-starved maniac? I was so disturbed that I could not discuss this matter with anybody except searching in mirror for any sign. Luckily for me once one of my colleagues, who was the other person covering the same route in similar fashion, disclosed me his predicaments. I got relieved. Thank GOD I am not the only one!
I will talk about another incident.
A couple years back, I was walking down Juhu main road for a luncheon meeting with someone. As I was crossing the house of Film maker B.R.Chopra’s house, I was approached by an auto from behind. Initially, I thought the lady sitting inside approached me asking for some address, but a look at her face and the inviting smile revealed her profession. But now I am a hardened middle-aged person, hence without cringing I could smile her away.
Most of you must be wondering what is the fun of narrating these old stories. Well as we are going to attend a serious issue, I wanted to build up a conducive atmosphere for that.
Most of us Indians are a bit romantic about this profession due to influence of Hindi Films, where invariably they are portrayed as people forced in the profession, kind hearted people dying for the elusive love etc. etc.
Historically Hindu mythology does not have anything against this profession. Rather the depiction of the character of Basantasena (played by Rekha) in the film Utsav eulogizes the profession, showing they were accepted by the society. I don’t know the authenticity of the story, but remember the character Vasantasena from some other story of the same era. Hence I can safely say that they were accepted in ancient Indian society.
Modern day prostitution can go back to the Devadasi system of South India, Baijees of North India. We find the profession was established around temple towns and near Palaces. In Kolkata, main areas are around old Kolkata, where the erstwhile Zamindars resided, in every case the profession was patronized by the high-class society, rich and the aristocracy.
Now what is wrong with the profession? In my mind; nothing. My personal opinion goes something like this; every individual utilizes some of part of his/her body or skill for profession. Then what is wrong if someone is utilizing his/her body for profession?
We are told by books and films that the profession is a family wrecker. I have serious doubt about that. The person, here invariably a man, who wrecks his family due to his addiction to prostitution should be a weak person and will wreck his family anyway by some other method. Now I am treading a dangerous area (which may hackle some provincial ego) but stating it knowing fully well. In and around Hyderabad, it’s very common to hear about people maintaining ‘chinna house’ (the other woman). I think now it’s not anymore secret with the media creating a circus over the Hyderabadi Engineer killed at Afghanistan. Hence putting the tag of family wreckers on the prostitution is gross injustice.
Some may say it is against female gender, as in most of the cases, they are the people at the wrong end of the system, forced in the profession by their relatives, by the circumstances. In my early days I have witnessed women from labor class (otherwise simple decent women) engaged themselves clandestinely in the profession willingly as the only mean of sustaining their families (when the male workers rendered jobless due to prolonged strike in factories). It was a serious social problem but mainly overlooked by the society, as everybody understood the compulsions.
I personally feel that Prostitution should be legalized. This will definitely solve a no. of social evils.
1) Once legalized, the people involved will be free from police harassment and shall get a little more dignity, which they really deserve.
2) The legalization process also should make it compulsory for regular medical check up, which will not only help them but also will help the society in curbing the spread of VD and AIDS. They can avail the social securities like insurance. Today the biggest problem any person engaged in the profession faces is that of their future. Invariably they languish in their old age, neglected by everyone.
3) Legalization process should include stringent punishment for ancillary industries connected like forcible induction. Any person should have the right to choose his/her profession, but forcing him/her should be considered a serious offence. Minimum punishment for forcible induction should not be less than life imprisonment.
4) The people who visit them for whatever the reasons, (there may be some good reasons also-Unmarried/single persons have every right to satisfy their sexual desire) will be able to do that without sense of guilt and hence will reduce the instances of rape and extra marital affairs (doubtful about the extent, but definitely there will be some impact).
5) There will be some decorum in advertising/soliciting. (On my last visit to Bangalore on 2nd November, I have seen them standing in the subway near the Bangalore city Railway station at 4 o’clock in the afternoon. Definitely not a pleasant scene for regular passengers with family)
6) It will reduce the spread of prostitution from un-conventional areas.
Let me delve on the last point more seriously. Actually the main idea of the present blog is to address this issue.
It’s not a new phenomenon. When I was staying in Delhi during 1976-78, I used to hear high society call girl racket involving students from good colleges as famous as Lady Sriram College. Let me clarify, it’s only rumor I heard, so ex-students, don’t jump on me. If wrong, I stay corrected.
Today in Hyderabad, we find regular newspaper headline of raids in various localities, as posh as Banjara Hills, as prude as Marredpally. This is a dangerous trend. The profession is no more practiced by people who are forced to do due to poverty or not finding or not fit for any other alternatives. It has become as easy source of income for anybody. There is rumor about escort system. Girls from good families are sucked into the profession due to lure of easy money, to sustain their expensive lifestyle.
The trend is flourishing by the foolish assumption of a section of patrons, who feel that the highly paid call girls are safer than their cheap counterparts.
There is an urgent need for addressing this serious problem. And legalizing the profession will help this problem. The law should have stiff penalties for illegal prostitution, acting as deterrent for nimble budding entrants. There can be provision of one time exception keeping the vulnerability of young people in mind, who should get at least one chance to reform themselves.
But as I stated earlier in my blog ‘Child labor and the law’, do the people involved in enactment and enforcement of law have the guts to look the problem at its eye and address it? Doubtful. Most of the people involved in this high-class call girl racket as patrons belonging to this society.
I was reading an article on massage parlor and massaging service business booming in Hyderabad. I remembered my last visit to Delhi some six months ego, the discussion I had with a friend there on the subject. He was showing me the mushrooming of ads in newspapers on the massage services provided. Incidentally since last couple of years, my association with an NGO working for HIV infected/affected people gave me some insight on the lives of the people engaged in flesh trade. This NGO organizes camps for AIDS awareness, rights of the people engaged in the profession etc. The team consists of young girl counselors, one or two technicians. My contribution is figurative, more of a quartermaster, as I cannot converse in local language. But I get the respect of my age and invariably addressed as ‘Pedda sir’. I discussed the issues related with the counselors who have much deeper understanding. I am presenting the analysis interlaced with my own literary contribution to make it lucid.
Let me start with my first encounter with the people engaged in the profession. I think it was 1970 or 71. In West Bengal, the mass copying was in its highest stage in Board examination. I was reasonably good at Maths and used to be invited as expert for solving maths questions during examination. Let me give you a brief idea of the modus operandi. The question paper used to be leaked out of an examination hall and people like us would sit somewhere nearby and solve the questions. The task was not so simple. The questions had to be solved, passed on inside and to be copied by the examinees within the prescribed time. So normally I used to solve problems one in a single page, one at a time, pass on to copiers, who will make multiple copies and then send those copies to the examinees, and all the process needed to be completed within the prescribed three hours. Now on that particular day I was at Naihati, some 35 odd kms from Kolkata (incidentally birth place of Bankim Chandra Chatterjee, the writer of Bande Mataram song) helping out some friends. I was sitting at roadside near the school and was busy in solving questions. Suddenly I heard, ‘Pala, Pala – run , run, police is coming’. Before I could realize anything I was physically carried away by a few strong boys and found myself dumped in a room nearby. Time is very precious; hence I became busy in solving the paper. After completing the last question, I found myself alone sitting in an unfamiliar room; the rest of the people vanished leaving me. (Anyway my utility was over for at least one year, and who thinks for the next year). I came out of the room and found the surroundings different. It was like a chawl, Doors all around a courtyard. I found women of different ages, different sizes, in different stages of clothing. I got to my senses by a few giggles, realized the situation and made a hasty retreat keeping my honor intact.
During mid eighties I used to visit Cochin regularly. There was a train from Hydeabad to Madras, in which they used to attach a bogie for Cochin. The train used to reach Madras early morning and the Cochin bogie was attached with Cochin express, which used to leave in the evening. One had to spend the day in Madras. Invariable I used to take a nearby lodge for spending the day. Every time, early in the morning, while I used to go around searching for lodging, without fail I used to be approached by rickshaw pullers offering the services of college girls. Initially once or twice I felt indignant, not for offering the services, but for offering at such an ungodly hour. But once it became a routine, I started to grow doubt. Did my face give an impression of a sex-starved maniac? I was so disturbed that I could not discuss this matter with anybody except searching in mirror for any sign. Luckily for me once one of my colleagues, who was the other person covering the same route in similar fashion, disclosed me his predicaments. I got relieved. Thank GOD I am not the only one!
I will talk about another incident.
A couple years back, I was walking down Juhu main road for a luncheon meeting with someone. As I was crossing the house of Film maker B.R.Chopra’s house, I was approached by an auto from behind. Initially, I thought the lady sitting inside approached me asking for some address, but a look at her face and the inviting smile revealed her profession. But now I am a hardened middle-aged person, hence without cringing I could smile her away.
Most of you must be wondering what is the fun of narrating these old stories. Well as we are going to attend a serious issue, I wanted to build up a conducive atmosphere for that.
Most of us Indians are a bit romantic about this profession due to influence of Hindi Films, where invariably they are portrayed as people forced in the profession, kind hearted people dying for the elusive love etc. etc.
Historically Hindu mythology does not have anything against this profession. Rather the depiction of the character of Basantasena (played by Rekha) in the film Utsav eulogizes the profession, showing they were accepted by the society. I don’t know the authenticity of the story, but remember the character Vasantasena from some other story of the same era. Hence I can safely say that they were accepted in ancient Indian society.
Modern day prostitution can go back to the Devadasi system of South India, Baijees of North India. We find the profession was established around temple towns and near Palaces. In Kolkata, main areas are around old Kolkata, where the erstwhile Zamindars resided, in every case the profession was patronized by the high-class society, rich and the aristocracy.
Now what is wrong with the profession? In my mind; nothing. My personal opinion goes something like this; every individual utilizes some of part of his/her body or skill for profession. Then what is wrong if someone is utilizing his/her body for profession?
We are told by books and films that the profession is a family wrecker. I have serious doubt about that. The person, here invariably a man, who wrecks his family due to his addiction to prostitution should be a weak person and will wreck his family anyway by some other method. Now I am treading a dangerous area (which may hackle some provincial ego) but stating it knowing fully well. In and around Hyderabad, it’s very common to hear about people maintaining ‘chinna house’ (the other woman). I think now it’s not anymore secret with the media creating a circus over the Hyderabadi Engineer killed at Afghanistan. Hence putting the tag of family wreckers on the prostitution is gross injustice.
Some may say it is against female gender, as in most of the cases, they are the people at the wrong end of the system, forced in the profession by their relatives, by the circumstances. In my early days I have witnessed women from labor class (otherwise simple decent women) engaged themselves clandestinely in the profession willingly as the only mean of sustaining their families (when the male workers rendered jobless due to prolonged strike in factories). It was a serious social problem but mainly overlooked by the society, as everybody understood the compulsions.
I personally feel that Prostitution should be legalized. This will definitely solve a no. of social evils.
1) Once legalized, the people involved will be free from police harassment and shall get a little more dignity, which they really deserve.
2) The legalization process also should make it compulsory for regular medical check up, which will not only help them but also will help the society in curbing the spread of VD and AIDS. They can avail the social securities like insurance. Today the biggest problem any person engaged in the profession faces is that of their future. Invariably they languish in their old age, neglected by everyone.
3) Legalization process should include stringent punishment for ancillary industries connected like forcible induction. Any person should have the right to choose his/her profession, but forcing him/her should be considered a serious offence. Minimum punishment for forcible induction should not be less than life imprisonment.
4) The people who visit them for whatever the reasons, (there may be some good reasons also-Unmarried/single persons have every right to satisfy their sexual desire) will be able to do that without sense of guilt and hence will reduce the instances of rape and extra marital affairs (doubtful about the extent, but definitely there will be some impact).
5) There will be some decorum in advertising/soliciting. (On my last visit to Bangalore on 2nd November, I have seen them standing in the subway near the Bangalore city Railway station at 4 o’clock in the afternoon. Definitely not a pleasant scene for regular passengers with family)
6) It will reduce the spread of prostitution from un-conventional areas.
Let me delve on the last point more seriously. Actually the main idea of the present blog is to address this issue.
It’s not a new phenomenon. When I was staying in Delhi during 1976-78, I used to hear high society call girl racket involving students from good colleges as famous as Lady Sriram College. Let me clarify, it’s only rumor I heard, so ex-students, don’t jump on me. If wrong, I stay corrected.
Today in Hyderabad, we find regular newspaper headline of raids in various localities, as posh as Banjara Hills, as prude as Marredpally. This is a dangerous trend. The profession is no more practiced by people who are forced to do due to poverty or not finding or not fit for any other alternatives. It has become as easy source of income for anybody. There is rumor about escort system. Girls from good families are sucked into the profession due to lure of easy money, to sustain their expensive lifestyle.
The trend is flourishing by the foolish assumption of a section of patrons, who feel that the highly paid call girls are safer than their cheap counterparts.
There is an urgent need for addressing this serious problem. And legalizing the profession will help this problem. The law should have stiff penalties for illegal prostitution, acting as deterrent for nimble budding entrants. There can be provision of one time exception keeping the vulnerability of young people in mind, who should get at least one chance to reform themselves.
But as I stated earlier in my blog ‘Child labor and the law’, do the people involved in enactment and enforcement of law have the guts to look the problem at its eye and address it? Doubtful. Most of the people involved in this high-class call girl racket as patrons belonging to this society.
chastity a virtue?
A comment on my blog ‘Prostitution – the oldest profession’ made me ponder about Chastity.
I searched in dictionary for the word chastity and found the meaning; sexual purity, virginity. Some equal Chastity with continence, or brahmacharya, one of the five moral values, yamas, prescribed as preliminary disciplines in the Yoga system of Patanjali, which confuses the matter, making it not only a virtue of women but men also.
I tried to recollect similar word in Hindi, Bengali and Sanskrit; the 3 Indian languages I know and surprisingly could not recollect any word with similar meaning.
A similar word for virgin also is elusive. The nearest word I could recollect is Kumari, kanya. There may be words, but I could not recollect. How come? Does it mean that in ancient India virginity was not an issue? Or may be it was believed that kumari i.e unmarried is equivalent to virgin. I knew that is not true, but felt it prudent to look further before giving my comments. A little study gave me this information.
What is the meaning of Kumari and Kanya? Present day Hindi denotes is as unmarried. With our obsession with virginity and marriage we can safely presume that it is presumed that Kumaris should be virgin also. But a study of Hindu mythology gives some mind-boggling answer. In Hindu mythology; five satis or five kanyas are revered. Who are these five satis or kanyas?
‘Ahalya Draupadi Kunti Tara Mandodari tatha Panca kanyd smarennityam mahdpataka nasanam’
Ahalya: She was wife of Rishi Goutam. She had adultery with Lord Indra. I remember from my childhood memory that she was tricked by Indra; he came to her taking the form of Rishi Goutam. Rishi Goutam cursed her and converted her to a stone, to be revived by Lord Rama.
Draupadi: We all know about her 5 husbands. And we also know that morally she was not that pure. She had special affection towards Arjuna. (By the way, the system of multiple husbands was prevailing in some parts of Himalayan Uttaranchal, at least till early seventies, when I visited)
Kunti: She was given a mantra by Rishi Durvasa by which she could summon any DEVA and have a child by him. She did not believe and called Surya, who appeared and thus ‘Karna’ was borne. Subsequently her other children were gifted by four more devas. Well I think, we modern readers can throw the ‘devaleela’ in the trash basket and safely presume she had sexual relations with the ‘devas’.
Tara: She was wife of monkey king Bali, later she married her brother-in-law Sugriva after the death of her husband. Incidentally Bali was killed by Lord Rama on behest of Sugriva. (In some parts of UP, the system of marriage of a widow with her brother-in-law is a custom)
Mandodari: She was wife of King Ravana. I could not find out anything else about her. And am a bit puzzled about the reasons of her inclusion in this illustrious list.
Anyway if we look at the five kanyas, we find that at least four of them were not monogamous. All five were married. Did have relations with more than one man/Deva. Question of virginity does not arise.
What does that imply? That the myth of virginity did not exist in ancient India. Kanyas even did not imply unmarried. I feel that is true. In ancient India, women had equality in every sphere of social life. The society was not over zealous about virginity. The obsession with virginity in Hinduism has come in later period and due to the influence of Islamic and Christian culture. The society was even permissive of sex outside marriage; at least they had good word to say about a woman having sex by deceit as in case of Ahalya.
A more detail study of chastity gives us this information:
The word chastity derives from the french word chastete, which in turn was derived from latin word castitas. Castitus is the abstract of castus, whcih originally meant pure state of conformity with the Greco-Roman religion. It is no way limited to only sexual behaviour.
However, in Islamic, Judaism and Christian context, act of sexual nature is prohibited outside of marriage and are considered as sin. The term chastity has become associated with sexual abstinence because it is commonly percieved as a tool against offenses like adultery. That’s why we find the word Chastity belt – a device said to be worn by the wives of the absent crusaders to prevent them from sexual intercourse in the absence of their husbands.
So what we find that the word chastity has nothing to do with virginity even in anglo-Isalmic context. The meaning of the word does not reflect about virtue of a woman, rather I find the word repressive and derogative to feminism. Definitely the use of chastity belt does give that impression only.
Then how come chastity becomes a virtue for women?
‘To insist that chastity is only for women and should not be insisted upon for men, is a philosophy based on individual ownership; the view that women is the property of the male determines the current status of a wife.’ This quote is taken from Periyar.org.
On my search, I came to know of this Malayalam book: Nalini Jameela: Oru Lyngika Thozhilaliyude Atmakatha, (Autobiography of a Sex Worker). I heard about this book earlier, but never gave any specific thought about it. It may give more insight on ‘Prostitution – the oldest profession’. I don’t know whether an English translation is available or not.
I searched in dictionary for the word chastity and found the meaning; sexual purity, virginity. Some equal Chastity with continence, or brahmacharya, one of the five moral values, yamas, prescribed as preliminary disciplines in the Yoga system of Patanjali, which confuses the matter, making it not only a virtue of women but men also.
I tried to recollect similar word in Hindi, Bengali and Sanskrit; the 3 Indian languages I know and surprisingly could not recollect any word with similar meaning.
A similar word for virgin also is elusive. The nearest word I could recollect is Kumari, kanya. There may be words, but I could not recollect. How come? Does it mean that in ancient India virginity was not an issue? Or may be it was believed that kumari i.e unmarried is equivalent to virgin. I knew that is not true, but felt it prudent to look further before giving my comments. A little study gave me this information.
What is the meaning of Kumari and Kanya? Present day Hindi denotes is as unmarried. With our obsession with virginity and marriage we can safely presume that it is presumed that Kumaris should be virgin also. But a study of Hindu mythology gives some mind-boggling answer. In Hindu mythology; five satis or five kanyas are revered. Who are these five satis or kanyas?
‘Ahalya Draupadi Kunti Tara Mandodari tatha Panca kanyd smarennityam mahdpataka nasanam’
Ahalya: She was wife of Rishi Goutam. She had adultery with Lord Indra. I remember from my childhood memory that she was tricked by Indra; he came to her taking the form of Rishi Goutam. Rishi Goutam cursed her and converted her to a stone, to be revived by Lord Rama.
Draupadi: We all know about her 5 husbands. And we also know that morally she was not that pure. She had special affection towards Arjuna. (By the way, the system of multiple husbands was prevailing in some parts of Himalayan Uttaranchal, at least till early seventies, when I visited)
Kunti: She was given a mantra by Rishi Durvasa by which she could summon any DEVA and have a child by him. She did not believe and called Surya, who appeared and thus ‘Karna’ was borne. Subsequently her other children were gifted by four more devas. Well I think, we modern readers can throw the ‘devaleela’ in the trash basket and safely presume she had sexual relations with the ‘devas’.
Tara: She was wife of monkey king Bali, later she married her brother-in-law Sugriva after the death of her husband. Incidentally Bali was killed by Lord Rama on behest of Sugriva. (In some parts of UP, the system of marriage of a widow with her brother-in-law is a custom)
Mandodari: She was wife of King Ravana. I could not find out anything else about her. And am a bit puzzled about the reasons of her inclusion in this illustrious list.
Anyway if we look at the five kanyas, we find that at least four of them were not monogamous. All five were married. Did have relations with more than one man/Deva. Question of virginity does not arise.
What does that imply? That the myth of virginity did not exist in ancient India. Kanyas even did not imply unmarried. I feel that is true. In ancient India, women had equality in every sphere of social life. The society was not over zealous about virginity. The obsession with virginity in Hinduism has come in later period and due to the influence of Islamic and Christian culture. The society was even permissive of sex outside marriage; at least they had good word to say about a woman having sex by deceit as in case of Ahalya.
A more detail study of chastity gives us this information:
The word chastity derives from the french word chastete, which in turn was derived from latin word castitas. Castitus is the abstract of castus, whcih originally meant pure state of conformity with the Greco-Roman religion. It is no way limited to only sexual behaviour.
However, in Islamic, Judaism and Christian context, act of sexual nature is prohibited outside of marriage and are considered as sin. The term chastity has become associated with sexual abstinence because it is commonly percieved as a tool against offenses like adultery. That’s why we find the word Chastity belt – a device said to be worn by the wives of the absent crusaders to prevent them from sexual intercourse in the absence of their husbands.
So what we find that the word chastity has nothing to do with virginity even in anglo-Isalmic context. The meaning of the word does not reflect about virtue of a woman, rather I find the word repressive and derogative to feminism. Definitely the use of chastity belt does give that impression only.
Then how come chastity becomes a virtue for women?
‘To insist that chastity is only for women and should not be insisted upon for men, is a philosophy based on individual ownership; the view that women is the property of the male determines the current status of a wife.’ This quote is taken from Periyar.org.
On my search, I came to know of this Malayalam book: Nalini Jameela: Oru Lyngika Thozhilaliyude Atmakatha, (Autobiography of a Sex Worker). I heard about this book earlier, but never gave any specific thought about it. It may give more insight on ‘Prostitution – the oldest profession’. I don’t know whether an English translation is available or not.
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